You're Not That Good

Why Self-Awareness is Crucial to Success

Photo by Fares Hamouche on Unsplash

How good are my writings?

What a strange feeling I get even typing that out. I’m really putting myself out there saying that. I’m inviting criticism, feedback, and perhaps even complaints.

I think I’m a pretty decent writer, but who knows?!

How well do we really know ourselves? Is there a glaring difference between how we would grade ourselves as leaders, and how others would grade us?

Did you know that 80% of drivers believe they're better than the average driver (Svenson, 1981)?¹ This is something in Psychology that is referred to as the Dunning-Kruger effect. The Dunning-Kruger Effect is a psychological phenomenon that causes people with low abilities to overestimate their skills, while also being blissfully unaware of their limitations (Kruger & Dunning, 1999).²

Now we are not talking about you of course, but everyone else (insert smirk emoji here).

Even when it comes to splitting chores at home, research shows that couples often believe they contribute more than they actually do. In fact, when couples were asked what percentage of the weekly house chores they perform around the house, the combined totals given by each spouse surpassed 100% (Kluwer, Heesink, & Van de Vliert, 1997).³

So, what do these stats tell us? They highlight our innate tendency to think highly of ourselves—even when the data suggests otherwise.

For a ReLeader, this is more than a cautionary tale; it's a call to cultivate self-awareness as one of the most potent tools in your leadership toolkit.

I’ve often told people, “The most important gift a leader can possess is the gift of self-awareness.”

Why Self-Awareness?

Not to over simplify this, but if you are “aware,” you can change, adjust, and adapt. If you are unaware, you are stuck right where you are. Taking over an existing department or organization is no small feat. You’re stepping into a legacy, a culture, and a set of challenges that you didn't create. Your ability to accurately assess yourself is invaluable as you navigate the intricacies of repositioning an organization for success.

Do you realize you talk too much, or that you have a habit of belittling your staff? Have you noticed you often miss the finer details? Are you even clued in that your way of leading staff meetings isn't winning you any popularity contests? If you're not aware of your own quirks and shortcomings, rest assured, everyone else is.

Here are just a few thoughts on the subject of Self-Awareness.

The Blind Spots of Overconfidence

While confidence is essential, overconfidence can be a pitfall. You could overlook significant challenges or dismiss valuable input from team members. The Dunning-Kruger effect comes into play here: if you're not fully aware of what you don't know, you're less likely to seek advice or remain open to feedback. This lack of self-awareness can be devastating, leading to poor decisions that could have been avoided.

The Power of Self-Reflection

To really get in tune with yourself, making a habit of self-reflection is key. Take a step back and honestly evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Whether it's jotting down thoughts in a journal, spending some quiet moments in prayer, or taking a nature walk to clear your head—find your way to look inward. When was the last time you hit the pause button on your busy life to replay the events of the day? Did you notice how people reacted to you? What kinds of questions were thrown your way? What was the overall mood of your team today? Being honest with yourself is crucial in these reflective moments.

Feedback Loops

Another powerful method for increasing self-awareness is to establish feedback loops within your organization. Actively seek feedback from staff, board members, or external advisors. Remember, feedback is not just criticism; it's data that can help you adapt and grow. By coupling internal self-reflection with external feedback, you get a more rounded view of your capabilities and areas for improvement. If your team is never giving you honest, constructive criticism, then you’ve got some work to do.

If your team never challenges you or gives you honest feedback, then something is wrong. Trust me, you’re not that good.

Be Open to Adapt

Adaptability is like your Swiss Army knife in the realm of self-awareness. It's especially crucial for a ReLeader who's walking into a setting that's already in motion, complete with its own set of challenges. Knowing your own blind spots and growth areas isn't just self-awareness for its own sake; it's the intel you need to navigate new terrain effectively. Practical ways to boost your adaptability could include regular check-ins with team members to get their perspectives, or perhaps setting up a mentorship with someone who's been in a similar situation. The point is, the more aware and prepared you are, the better you can pivot when the game inevitably changes.

The Ripple Effect

Your self-awareness has a ripple effect on your organization. When the team sees a leader who is both confident and humble enough to acknowledge their limitations, it creates a culture of openness and continuous improvement. You set a precedent for everyone to be better versions of themselves, which is a powerful motivator.

The Lifelong Journey

Self-awareness is not a one-time achievement but a lifelong journey. Just like the organizations we lead, we are continually evolving. Embracing self-awareness allows you to pivot when necessary, make informed decisions, and most importantly, lead with authenticity.

In a world where many overestimate their contributions and capabilities, the gift of self-awareness is your secret weapon. It enables you to navigate the complexities and challenges that come with being a ReLeader, setting both you and your organization on a path to sustained success.

1. Svenson, O. (1981). Are we all less risky and more skillful than our fellow drivers? Acta Psychologica, 47(2), 143-148.

2. Kruger, J., & Dunning, D. (1999). Unskilled and unaware of it: how difficulties in recognizing one's own incompetence lead to inflated self-assessments. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77(6), 1121-1134.

3. Kluwer, E. S., Heesink, J. A., & Van de Vliert, E. (1997). The marital dynamics of conflict over the division of labor. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 635-653.