The Proclivity Problem

Why Your Gifts Alone Aren’t Enough

We don’t talk about this enough.

I’ve been in rooms with wildly gifted people—preachers who could stir a crowd to its feet, strategists who could run a church like a Fortune 500 company, pastors who could carry the weight of hundreds on their shoulders. And yet, in too many of those rooms, I’ve also seen the collateral damage: broken teams, toxic environments, moral failures, and a whole lot of hurt. Not because the gifts weren’t real. But because gifts without guardrails will always lead us off course.

Let me be clear: the problem isn’t the gift—it’s the grip our flesh tries to get on the gift.

You Can Be Gifted and Still Dangerous

You can operate in a spiritual gift and still wound people.

That’s not heresy—it’s reality. And it’s all over the Bible. God doesn’t revoke gifts. Romans 11:29 tells us the “gifts and callings of God are irrevocable.” That means someone can be powerfully anointed and yet still immature, still unhealed, still prideful. That means a gifted leader can preach a killer sermon on Sunday and manipulate their staff on Monday. It’s not the gift’s fault. It’s what happens when the gift is stewarded through our flesh instead of the Spirit.

Paul knew this. That’s why he wedged 1 Corinthians 13 right between chapters 12 and 14. Chapter 12 lays out the gifts. Chapter 14 teaches how to use them. But chapter 13—love—is the hinge that holds it all together.

Without love, the gift becomes noise. Without love, the gift becomes nothing.
Without love, the gift gains nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1–3)

That’s not theory. That’s warning.

The Danger of Over-Identifying with the Gift

Here’s what happens far too often in leadership: we start building our identity on our gift instead of the Giver. And when that happens, any threat to the gift feels like a threat to us.

• If I’m the teacher, and someone challenges what I taught, I get defensive.

• If I’m the administrator, and the system I built gets questioned, I take it personally.

• If I’m the shepherd, and someone doesn’t need me anymore, I spiral.

• If I’m the giver, and my gift isn’t celebrated, I withdraw.

We all have proclivities—ways the flesh tries to hijack the Spirit. And if we don’t name them, they will name us. Worse, they will start shaping our teams, our culture, and the people under our leadership.

The Gifts Are Good. But They're Not God.

Let’s talk real for a minute. Some of us have mistaken gifting for character. And some of us have mistaken charisma for Christlikeness.

I’ve done it. I’ve hired for skill over spirit. I’ve overlooked red flags because someone “got results.” And I’ve been in rooms where leaders used their gifts to serve themselves more than others.

If that sounds harsh, let’s remember: the church at Corinth was overflowing with spiritual gifts. They spoke in tongues, prophesied, taught, gave, healed. But Paul rebuked them, not because they lacked power—but because they lacked posture.

Their gifts weren’t the problem. Their flesh was.

And the same is true of us.

Every Gift Has a Proclivity

Here’s a framework I’ve been praying through lately. It’s not exhaustive, but I believe it helps bring language to the real dangers we face as gifted leaders. The more aware we become of the shadows of our gift, the more intentional we can be in submitting them to the Spirit.

Below are several spiritual gifts, with the potential corresponding proclivity:

Service - Burnout / giving so much that you neglect yourself leading to exhaustion

Discernment - Judgmentalism / you see through the fake, so it’s easier to become judgemental

Administration - Resentment / believing no one works as hard or cares as much

Leadership - Pride / believing the vision depends on you, not God

Apostle - Striving / pushing for “bigger, better, faster” while neglecting God’s pace

Exhortation - People-pleasing / avoiding truth to stay liked

Teaching - Arrogance / when knowledge replaces humility and correction

Giving - Control / using generosity to gain influence

Evangelism - Numbers obsession / measuring success by crowds instead of discipleship

Shepherding (Pastor) - Codependency / needing to be needed to feel valuable

Tongues - Elitism / using your gift to elevate status rather than glorify God

Even the sharpest scalpel can do damage in the wrong hands. And every one of these gifts, beautiful as they are, can become dangerous if left unchecked.

This is Why Jesus Matters So Much

Jesus operated in all the gifts—every single one—and yet had no proclivities, no fleshly distortions. Why? Because he was love. He didn’t just act in love. He was the full embodiment of 1 Corinthians 13.

He taught with truth. He led with humility. He discerned without condemning. He served without burning out. He gave without strings attached.

Hebrews 4:15 reminds us that Jesus was tempted in every way, just like us, yet without sin. That means the proclivities tried to come for him too—but he never gave in.

We lead best when we love like Jesus.

Recognizing the Proclivity in You and in Others

This isn’t just about self-awareness—it’s about stewardship.

As leaders, our job isn’t just to spot gifting. It’s to develop it. And that means confronting the proclivity that comes with the gift—both in ourselves and in those we lead.

• Do you know your own proclivities?

• Can you name them?

• Have you invited others to help you see them?

• Can you recognize when someone else’s gift is being hijacked by their fear, ego, or insecurity?

• Are you willing to confront it in love?

This isn’t about canceling people. It’s about calling them to wholeness.

A Final Word to the Wounded

If you’ve been on the receiving end of a gift gone rogue… I’m sorry.

Maybe you’ve been manipulated by a preacher who used Scripture as a sword. Or overlooked by a leader who thought charisma was more important than character. Or burned out in a church that praised performance but neglected people.

Let me say this clearly: that wasn’t God. That wasn’t the Holy Spirit. That was someone’s flesh hijacking a God-given gift. Don’t walk away from the Giver just because the gift was misused.

So What Do We Do?

We do what Paul taught us.

We don’t abandon the gifts—we anchor them in love.

We confront our flesh. We stay humble. We build cultures of confession, not performance. We hold gifting in one hand and fruit in the other. And we remember that what makes our leadership powerful isn’t just what we can do—it’s how well we can love.

Because in the end, the gifts will fade. The stages will disappear. The sermons will be forgotten. But love?

Love never fails.