Leaders love control. We thrive on it. We build strategies, design systems, and track metrics—all to make sure things go according to plan. Control feels safe, predictable, and measurable.
But here’s the truth: control is mostly an illusion.
You can influence. You can prepare. You can even lead with excellence. But you cannot ultimately control outcomes. And the sooner a leader faces that reality, the sooner they step into the kind of freedom that leadership was always meant to carry.
Success and the Control Trap
Ironically, the more successful a leader becomes, the more tempting this illusion grows. Achievements stack up, and you begin to believe you can bend the world to your will. Deals close. Projects deliver. Teams follow. And the subtle lie creeps in: “I am in control.”
But then the market shifts. Or an unexpected competitor enters the scene. Or a global crisis rewrites the rules overnight (maybe you remember a little thing called COVID-19). Suddenly, the steady ground you thought you controlled knocks you off your feet.
Every successful leader eventually discovers this truth: success is not the proof of your control. In fact, it may be the very thing that blinds you to your limitations.
I’ve felt this tension many times in my own leadership journey. When I stepped into the presidency of a university, I knew careful planning and decisive leadership were essential. I mapped out a clear path forward and worked hard to lead with excellence. But along the way, I discovered that even the best plans face unexpected realities—budget shifts, staffing transitions, cultural dynamics. Those moments didn’t undermine my leadership; they reminded me that leadership is never about controlling every outcome, but about faithfully navigating what comes.
A Biblical Reminder
Scripture has a way of cutting straight through our illusions:
Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” — James 4:13–15
James doesn’t mince words: your plans may be precise, but your control is paper-thin.
Proverbs echoes the same truth:
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”— Proverbs 16:9
Plans matter. Leadership matters. But it is God, not you, who ultimately establishes what will stand.
That reality can either frustrate leaders—or free them.
The Cost of Clinging to Control
When leaders buy into the illusion of control, it costs more than they realize.
It fuels anxiety. If you believe outcomes rest solely on you, the weight will crush you. Every variable becomes a potential disaster. Every missed target feels like failure.
It feeds micromanagement. Leaders who must control everything end up controlling everyone. Teams suffocate under the constant need to meet unrealistic expectations.
It isolates. Control-driven leaders rarely invite collaboration or feedback. They trust themselves above all else, which leaves them lonely and disconnected.
Control doesn’t just exhaust the leader—it drains the organization. A culture of control kills innovation, creativity, and trust. People stop taking risks because they know their leader won’t release outcomes.
The Freedom of Surrender
Here’s the paradox: when you release the illusion of control, you don’t become weaker—you become freer.
Leaders who surrender outcomes to God discover a lighter way of leading. They plan diligently, but they hold plans loosely. They give their best, but they refuse to carry what only God can carry.
Paul captured this paradox in his own weakness: “When I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10). The strength came not from self-sufficiency but from surrender.
I’ve seen this in my own leadership. The moments I tried to control everything left me drained. But the seasons I acknowledged my limits and trusted God’s sovereignty—those were the seasons I led with clarity, peace, and surprising effectiveness.
Dependence on God doesn’t make you passive; it anchors you in reality. You still plan, prepare, and execute—but without the crushing need to control outcomes.
A Word to ReLeaders
If you’re stepping into a role you didn’t start, the temptation of control can feel even greater. ReLeaders often inherit broken systems, strained cultures, or financial challenges. The pressure whispers: “If I just work hard enough, I can fix this.”
But here’s the hard truth: you don’t control the past you inherited, and you don’t control the reactions of the people you now lead.
What you do control is your stewardship. You control whether you show up with clarity. You control whether you carry yourself with humility. You control whether you’re faithful to do the right thing, for the right reason, for a really long time.
Everything else belongs to God.
ReLeaders who grasp this truth avoid the burnout of trying to fix what they didn’t break. They stop trying to control outcomes and instead focus on faithfulness.
Leading Without Illusions
So here’s the question every leader must ask: not “How do I stay in control?” but “How do I lead faithfully when I’m not in control?”
The illusion of control will always tempt leaders. But freedom is found in surrender. When you release control, you don’t lose authority—you gain peace. You lead lighter. You lead freer. And you lead with the confidence that the God who called you is the same God who establishes your steps.
The sooner you let go of control, the sooner you’ll find the strength to lead well.
One of my favorite verses for the season I am currently learning to navigate is Isaiah 30:15, "In repentance and rest is your salvation. In quietness and trust is your strength...."
That last sentence is where my focus is right now. I need strength! I think those 2 things, quietness and trust are key components.
I enjoy reading your articles, ty
Great thoughts Pastor, & this is SO applicable to parenting especially as our children are growing into, or already are, adults. I always thought, the more I control them AND the world around them, the healthier they will turn out to be.... I'm realizing that is false beliefs.