It's Not Obscene to be Unseen

The Secret to ReLeader Bliss

Hey ReLeader,

Just a little thought for you to consider today…

Am I Okay with Second Fiddle?

I heard a story recently about an orchestra conductor being interviewed for a media piece. The conductor was questioned about the most challenging instrument to play in the entire orchestra. Without hesitation, the conductor looked straight at the interviewer and said, “Second violin.” He continued, “We can get plenty of first violinists. But to get someone who will play second fiddle with enthusiasm—that is nearly impossible.”

In every man and woman's heart is a deep desire for two things: to be needed and known. The first one (to be needed), we tend to figure out pretty quickly. We find jobs, we volunteer at a local non-profit, we make friends who ask us to help them move, and somewhere along the way, we find that special someone who keeps us pretty “needed.” If you really want to fulfill the desire to be “needed,” just have kids and you will never sit down again.

Of course, there is a limit to our being needed. We only have so much time, so much talent, so much money, and so much patience. But interestingly enough, there is no limit to our desire to be known.

How Do I Become Famous?

When my daughter was about 6 years old, she came up to me and said, “Dad, how do I become famous?” What?! How in the world does a 6-year-old even know what “famous” means, and why does she have this innate desire to be “known” to the masses?

Whether we are willing to admit it or not, we leaders want to be known. Like my 6-year-old daughter, we are asking ourselves the question, “How do I become known?” We would love to be recognized, invited to speak at the conference, increase our followers on social media, and be “successful” in our industry or profession. You can pretend I’m not talking to you, but I know I am. How do I know, well, because I’m talking to myself too.

If you’re a ReLeader, you’ve already learned that for some reason, the spotlight just doesn’t come your way. We’ve talked about this in previous publications but for some reason, the work of a ReLeader rarely makes the headlines. I mean, when was the last time you got to see the clean-up crew at a NASCAR crash? Everyone sees the crash, but only the cleanup crew sticks around the see it restored so the race can continue.

Many times ReLeaders become experts at playing “second violin.”

Why does the second violinist matter so much? Because playing second violin doesn't mean being second best. Yes, it turns out that Ricky Bobby was not correct in his assessment of, “if you’re not first, you’re last.”

Being a ReLeader means embracing a role that, although unseen and under-celebrated, is essential to the symphony's harmony and success. The second violinist understands that the music is greater than the musician and that the collective sound is more important than individual recognition.

As ReLeaders, it's not about standing in the limelight but about guiding the organization back to health, vibrancy, and integrity. The work often requires rolling up sleeves and delving into the unglamorous, yet necessary, details. It means taking on the difficult task of healing, rebuilding, and reimagining, all without expecting a standing ovation at the end of the performance.

It's Not Obscene to be Unseen

Despite what this culture tells us, "It's Not Obscene to be Unseen." This phrase is a rallying cry for those in leadership roles, who understand that the real reward is not in accolades or titles but in the positive impact and transformation they can bring about. Being unseen doesn't mean being unimportant. Quite the contrary, it's often the unseen efforts that lay the foundation for future growth and stability.

Just as a family doesn't always celebrate the countless hours spent by parents nurturing, guiding, and providing (except perhaps one day a year), the work of a ReLeader might go uncelebrated. Yet, it is in these quiet, consistent efforts that real change is made.

The true essence of leadership, particularly in the unique arena of ReLeading, is recognizing the value of playing the part that needs to be played. It's in the courage to take the second chair, to stand behind the spotlight, and to contribute with passion, humility, and wisdom.

The world will always have its share of first violinists, eager to take the stage and bask in the spotlight. But let us not forget the unsung heroes, the second violinists, the ReLeaders, who make it possible for the orchestra to play in perfect harmony.

Their work may go unnoticed, and their names may never make headlines, but their impact resonates in the lives they touch and in the organizations they heal and grow. They know that the melody of success is not a solo performance but a symphonic collaboration, where every note, every role, and every unseen effort contributes to a beautiful masterpiece.

In a world that often chases fame and recognition, perhaps it's time to honor the second chair and embrace the profound wisdom of the conductor's words. Because in life, as in music, it's not obscene to be unseen; it's essential.