November 4, 2019, 4:14 PM
It’s been 4 years since I pulled out my phone and wrote this note about success (pictured above). I can use one word to describe myself during this season of my life…
“More”
I was thirsty for it. “More”
I do not think my “more” was some evil thirst for power or wealth. I was just in a constant state of always feeling like there was “more” I could do - something more I could lead, build, steward, organize, develop, or initiate. You know... MORE.
We all have a “more.”
I don’t think “more" is necessarily a bad thing. God created us to create, build, and grow things. Why else would He say, “Be fruitful and multiply?”
However, what I discovered in myself was that “more” was not the problem - it was the motive behind the more. Was it that I wanted to lead more, or that I wanted to be noticed more? Was it that I wanted to build something, or that I wanted to be something? Was it that I wanted to help someone, or that I wanted to be someone?
Back to November 4, 2019, 4:14 PM
It was on this day that God convicted me of my lust for more. It was a typical Monday afternoon, I was grabbing a quick workout with my pastor and mentor. I was in the middle of a rant session about my mood for “more.” As it turns out, all of my “mores” were things my pastor had already experienced in his incredibly successful calling. He had led more, built more, stewarded more, organized more, developed more, and initiated more. If anyone knew what “more” was, it was this guy. So who better to help me with my desire for more, than someone who had more?
It was then that he stopped me mid-sentence with a phrase that pierced my heart.
“You’re Using the Wrong Measuring Stick.”
His six words struck me with sudden clarity - "You're Using the Wrong Measuring Stick." In that instant, those few syllables carried the weight of a profound sermon, packing the power of a mind-altering illustration. With one succinct phrase, he echoed the wisdom of Ecclesiastes - the futility of chasing aimless "more" that never satisfies. Like Solomon concluding the emptiness of acquiring all yet forfeiting meaning itself. And in the back of my thoughts, Jesus' words echoed: "What good is it to gain the whole world yet forfeit your soul?" My mentor's disruptive message was unmistakable. I had pegged achievement to the wrong metric. My thirst to accumulate some version of more had charted the incorrect course. One that would inevitably lead me toward destruction and loss. With a single piercing metaphor, he reset my orientation towards success itself - both in direction and distance.
I wanted more. However, my thirst for success was being measured with the wrong instrument. I was trying to measure liquid with inches, or distance with gallons - doomed endeavors. Even if I went the distance, I wouldn’t reach the right destination. And even if I gained the “fullness of more,” I could never satisfy my lust for more.
This must have been what Jesus encountered with the woman at the well, seeking to quench her thirst through other means. He introduced her to the only well capable of satisfying any longing for more.
I would never gain an accurate appraisal of success by employing faulty metrics. Back then, I was unable to recognize “enough” even if it struck me between the eyes, because I had no concept of genuine fullness.
So on November 4th, 2019 at 4:14 pm, with my mentor's guidance, I redefined success using new measuring sticks - those able to gauge life-promoting, soul-nourishing gains I could healthily pursue, not finite trophies sought for ego. I centered my eyes on riches of meaning over fleeting wealth and depth of purpose rather than breadth of accomplishments.
Here is my list of the only things worth gaining more of.
Zealous for Jesus
It is funny that in the pursuit of more, we often forget the only thing we really need more of. John the Baptist said it best when he said, less of me, more of Him. The worldly pursuit of more screams the opposite: more of me, less of Him. I have decided that my number one priority while I draw breath on this earth is to be zealous for Jesus. It’s the only “more” that you can never overdo.
Love and Faithful to My Wife
Michele is my best friend. More than any trophy or title, I must make our marriage my crowning achievement. In a world drifting from commitment, I choose to defy the tide through tenacious love for my wife – pursuing her with abandon over passive comforts. This is a great measurement of success.
Meaningful Relationship with My Kids
I refuse to sacrifice my family on the altar of ministry. What good would it be to build a big church, that gets thousands of people into heaven if I have to sacrifice my kids to do it? Can I be old and gray with two kids who love me, and love the Lord? That my friends, is success. Give me more of that.
Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Health
If I’m going to fight for more of something, I want to fight to be more fit physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. If I gain more of the things I’m chasing but lose in any of these 4 categories, then I didn’t gain more, I gained less.
Spend Less, Invest More
I want to gain wealth. Proverbs 13 says, “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children.” Money is not evil, the love of it is. I want to build wealth that can impact the kingdom and my children’s children. To me, success is not more seed for me to eat, it’s more seed for me to invest. I am always looking for ways to make my dollar work for me through real estate investments and other ventures. A part of my measuring stick for success is to spend less and invest more.
Control of My Schedule/Time
They’re not adding any more hours to the 24. But we can redeem more life through intentionality. True success is fighting for freedom over your schedule. Guard space to chase purpose by telling busyness “no.” Distraction devours most days in tiny pieces. The best time managers filter commitments, asking “Does this activity match my ultimate aims?” If no, wave goodbye without hesitation. If yes, then wholeheartedly invest. Minutes employed toward priorities compound value. They become life’s true currency.
Here’s my challenge to you, take some time to sit down and create your own measuring stick of success. Don’t let people or culture tell you what you need “more” of.
Let’s chat more in the comments…
Very good! It helps me to have a better perspective of what true success really is by reaffirming my priorities.
Thank you.
This is so powerful. Thank you for sharing, Jon. In a culture that measures success by numbers, I am thankful that God measures the heart of His people. My greatest prayer is that at the end of my days, I have no regrets about how I lived my life before the Lord. I want to submit everything I am and have to Him because it all came from Him in the first place. Less of me, more of Him, for sure.