How to Lead with Leftovers?

Answering a Comment from Last Weeks Article

Hey ReLeader fam,

Last week, I wrote an article entitled "Lead with Leftovers." Several of you commented, and I appreciate all the discussion. There was one particular comment that stood out, and I would love to address it in more detail. As always, I invite everyone in this community of over 1,200 ReLeaders to share your thoughts as well.

One of our ReLeader Family members, Jon Greig, made this comment:

"I would love to hear more about how you make this work practically speaking. I work in a demanding high-stress profession (I’m a lawyer) and have 3 young kids and struggle to find time to take care of myself. I think I do a pretty good job of prioritizing God, marriage, and family but often find myself overly focused on work and tired."

Man, what a solid question, Jon. (Nice name, by the way). I think this is something every leader struggles with from time to time.

It’s one thing to write about the importance of doing it; it's another challenge to explain how. We preachers are sometimes guilty of focusing more on the “you should” than the “here’s how.” So, I’m going to try to give a practical reply to Jon’s question. But please, feel free to share your own thoughts in the comments section below.

Let’s dive into some practical steps for maintaining balance and well-being while leading in high-stress environments.

Practice Contentment

I think the very first step in leading with leftovers is asking ourselves a really difficult question: “How much is enough?” God has been dealing with me about this lately. As leaders, we're often driven by the desire to achieve more, do more, make more, grow more, and be more. Our crazy schedules, the stresses, the deadlines, and the constant striving are often driven by a very tricky, hidden thing called “desire.” Few things shape our lives more than our desires. Perhaps our desires are to be recalibrated from time to time. The Bible says to “delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). But what does it mean to delight yourself in the Lord? Perhaps it’s more about me coming into alignment with God’s desires than it is about accessing some cosmic vending machine of what I want. How do we do this? One way is by developing a secret weapon that few people learn to access. What is this slippery treasure?

Contentment

Paul was quite vocal about contentment:

1 Timothy 6:6 (NIV) - But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Philippians 4:11-12 (NIV) - I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Perhaps as leaders, the first thing we need to ask ourselves is, "What is a ‘gain?’” In the investment world, we talk about realized gains, unrealized gains, gains in assets, gains in real estate, gains in personnel, gains in net worth, and gains in net revenue. In Paul’s world (which is the Kingdom of God by the way), he talks about gains being directly connected to contentment. The tricky thing about gains is that it's a moving target. What would have been a “gain” to me at the age of 20 is now a baseline expectation.

If I am trying to learn to lead with leftovers, it is impossible to do so with health unless I know where my contentment lies.

Where contentment begins, striving ends.
Where contentment ends, striving begins.

Picture our “overflow” as a cup that is spilling over. For a cup to overflow, it must reach a point where it can't hold any more liquid, thus resulting in an overflow. There's a point in the cup’s potential volume where it has reached its limit, its point of contentment. It doesn’t try to increase its size to hold more; it knows its limitations and is content with them. Anything beyond that point can then overflow. Many leaders, however, try to continue increasing the size of their cup, refusing to be content and therefore never settling. They are always trying to outpace, outdo, outwork, and outperform to reach the next level of “success” (whatever that means).

Please do not misunderstand my stance as complacency. We are driven leaders! We grow, expand, multiply, and increase our organizations and our net worth. However, we know our limits. We know where the line is to discontentment and do not cross it. To lead with leftovers, we must learn to recognize and accept our point of contentment, allowing the overflow to benefit others. As we discussed in the previous article, the contents within our cup are the same as what overflows. We can achieve fruitfulness, success, and health both at home and in the workplace. It’s not an either/or situation; it’s a both/and approach.

“Godliness with contentment is great gain.”

Check Your Work Flow Systems

Once we have learned the discipline of contentment, we can take a critical look at our workflow systems. Often, we struggle with leading with leftovers because our time as leaders is poorly managed. (Ouch, sorry about that)

What worked 2-3 years ago may not be effective today. It's essential to set healthy boundaries in our personal and professional calendars. Every minute of every day, ask yourself questions like, "Could this meeting happen without me?" "Do I really need to be the one replying to this email?" "Is there someone else in my organization who could do this task 70% as well as I do?" "Is there something I should be doing that only I can do?"

Boundaries are a critical part of every leader’s journey. You must train people how to treat you because if you don’t train them, they will train you.

Often, your time is taken by well-meaning people in your organization who believe you need to be in every meeting, on every phone call, and involved in every decision. The truth is, most of the time, you don’t. As a result, you spend valuable time on tasks that could have been handled by someone else, robbing you of the time you should spend on what truly matters in your leadership role. Ultimately, this also takes time away from your family. Tasks at work that should have been accomplished with your overflow end up consuming valuable space in your primary cup.

When you get robbed of your time at work, your family gets robbed of your time at home.

And guess what? It’s not the employee’s fault for taking up our valuable time; it’s our fault for allowing it to happen. So what are we going to do about it? We are going to train people how to treat us by establishing clear priorities and boundaries. While words can communicate boundaries, actions speak far more powerfully.

Let’s look at a few examples:

• Fridays are my Sabbath. I can tell people that it is my Sabbath and ask them not to reach out to me (which I have done, by the way), but I also train them how to respect this time by not replying on Friday. Instead, I reply on Saturday, explaining why I did not respond on Friday. This way, I have cordially but firmly placed a boundary that I’m teaching people not to cross.

• If you are a leader who is constantly fielding phone calls or emails to the point that you can hardly get any work done, you must train people how to get in touch with you. If you have an assistant, always direct people to them to set up appointments or answer small questions about your schedule. If you do not have an assistant, train people to adapt to your rhythms. When you reply to an email or text immediately, you are training them to expect that prompt response. Instead, choose your preferred form of communication, reply quickly through that avenue, and respond more slowly through others. Over time, they will learn to use your preferred method.

• Another example: Suppose you often have people drop by your office unannounced, interrupting your work. You can set boundaries by establishing specific times for open-door hours when people know they can come to you with questions or concerns. Outside of these hours, keep your door closed and communicate that you are focusing on priority tasks. By consistently enforcing this boundary, you train your team to respect your time and approach you during designated times.

• For five wild years, I was pastoring a multisite church in Oklahoma while leading a university and seminary in Texas. How did I do that? One way was by setting boundaries. I made it a discipline that at 5 pm every day, I was going home. I refused to sacrifice my family on the altar of ministry. That was a boundary, set in place to make sure that my “family cup” was getting the fullness it deserved and that the university and church would get what was left.

Boundaries are non-negotiable. They protect what is most important and ensure that our leadership is sustainable and healthy. By setting and maintaining these boundaries, we can lead effectively without burning out and ensure that our personal and professional lives are in balance.

Practice Self-Care

This is a big one for me because it's an area where I know I could have done better. During those five crazy years, the church stayed healthy, the university thrived, my marriage was rich and growing, and my relationship with my kids was strong. But one area I neglected was myself. My hobbies ceased, and my once-regular trips to the gym dwindled to occasional, half-hearted push-up sessions at home. I didn’t prioritize self-care, and slowly over time, I noticed.

Statistics show that leaders often suffer from poor physical and mental health due to the pressures of their roles. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, 44% of leaders report feeling burned out, and 33% struggle with chronic stress. Additionally, a Harvard Business Review study found that 96% of senior leaders feel somewhat burned out, and a third describe their condition as extreme burnout. These numbers are staggering and highlight the importance of prioritizing self-care.

Jethro’s advice to Moses in Exodus 18:17-18 is a timeless reminder of the importance of self-care: "Moses’ father-in-law replied, 'What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.'" Jethro's wisdom underscores the necessity of taking care of oneself to lead effectively and sustainably.

Physical Health
Regular exercise is crucial for maintaining energy levels and overall well-being. Find activities you enjoy, whether it's going to the gym, taking walks, or playing a sport. Studies show that regular physical activity can reduce the risk of chronic diseases, improve mood, and increase longevity. Prioritize sleep, aiming for 7-9 hours a night. A balanced diet is also essential.

Mental Health
Mental health is just as important as physical health. Incorporate practices that reduce stress and promote mental clarity. This can include mindfulness, meditation, or simply taking time to relax and disconnect from work. Seeking professional help, such as a therapist or counselor, can also provide valuable support and strategies for managing stress.

Spiritual Health
Your spiritual health is foundational. Make time for daily prayer, Bible study, and reflection. This not only strengthens your relationship with God but also provides a sense of peace and purpose that can help you navigate the challenges of leadership. Psalm 23:3 says, "He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake." Allow God to refresh your soul regularly.

Longevity in Leadership
Prioritizing self-care is not just about feeling good today; it’s about ensuring longevity in your leadership. Leaders who neglect their physical, mental, and spiritual health are more likely to experience burnout, which can lead to a premature end to their ministry or career. By taking care of yourself, you’re not only preserving your ability to lead effectively but also setting an example for those you lead.

Self-care is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.

Your thoughts?

As usual, I have much more I could say, but I would love to hear from our ReLeader community on things you might add, or disagree with. Comment below.