Gossip, Guesses and Gab
Ask Yourself these 3 Questions Before You React
Leadership often involves the critical task of managing the relentless flow of information that defines your day-to-day responsibilities. As a leader, you are the pivot point between outgoing information, which aims to guide and direct your teams, and the incoming reports that paint a picture of how your organization is performing. The challenge lies in deciphering this incoming information. Deciding what to retain, what to discard, and what requires immediate action. Often, the information you receive is at best second-hand; more commonly, it has passed through several intermediaries, diluting its original accuracy, morphing into gossip, guesses, and gab. It's like when a social media influencer claims, “So many of you have been DM’ing me asking where I got this shirt,” when the truth is that they just wanted to create a video to get more followers (cue the eye roll).
Deciding how to respond to information can be a daunting task. If we choose to react, we risk igniting a firestorm of controversy and backlash, yet remaining passive could lead to catastrophic outcomes—shaking the very foundations of our organizational culture and potentially ending careers. For example, consider a scenario where a leader hears rumors of product dissatisfaction among customers. Reacting hastily without proper investigation could alienate customers and staff, causing public relations issues. On the other hand, ignoring such feedback might result in a significant loss of trust and loyalty, ultimately leading to a decline in product credibility and market position. It’s a delicate balance, requiring careful thought and strategic decision-making to avoid both extremes in order to navigate a path that safeguards both the integrity and stability of the organization.
So, how should we, as leaders, respond to the information that lands on our ears? What steps should we take when confronted with unsettling whispers about staff dissatisfaction, rumors that a product is losing its market appeal, or murmurs that congregants are displeased with church leadership? Before springing into action, it’s crucial to process this information through three critical filters to ensure our responses are not only appropriate but effective.
My inspiration for these three filters is from “Socrates’ Triple Filter Test.” Socrates encouraged his readers to think before they speak. To take the information you are about to share through three filters: Is it true? Is it good/beneficial? Is it useful? Socrates would say that if you cannot answer yes to all three of these questions, then do not share or act on the information. I will use a similar framework, but slightly change up the approach when it comes to leadership. Here we go…
Is it True?
The first filter in evaluating incoming information is: "Is this information true, and is my response grounded in truth?" It's essential to meticulously investigate the source and confirm the facts before letting them shape our decisions. Merely knowing that one person believes it's true isn't sufficient; we need to determine whether a consistent pattern or solid evidence is backing it up. Truth is the cornerstone of sound decision-making. It's surprising how often leaders base their choices on scant information. Deciding from a place of emotions means allowing pain, jealousy, insecurity, or fear to steer your actions, which can lead to less rational outcomes.
As leaders, this pursuit of truth sometimes requires us to navigate the discomfort of uncertainty. There will be instances where the absolute truth remains elusive. In such cases, we must learn to inhabit this space of 'not knowing.' Recognizing that without accurate and complete information, making the correct decision becomes a significant challenge. This acceptance of the unknown is a testament to the complexities of leadership and the critical importance of seeking truth in our decision-making processes.
Great leaders know that without the right information, it is difficult to make the right decision.
Is it Honorable?
The next filter we apply is assessing whether my reaction to the incoming information would be honorable. This filter critically examines the ethical implications of our potential actions and the effects they might have on our integrity and the trust others place in us. It's about ensuring that our decisions not only align with the truth but also uphold the values we cherish and the responsibilities we bear as leaders.
In my experience as a ReLeader, one of the most challenging aspects has been possessing sensitive information that, despite its truth, should not be disclosed. Holding all the information is like carrying a loaded weapon that you must never fire. There have been numerous times when revealing the truth could have validated my decisions or secured someone’s loyalty to my leadership. However, sharing this information could dishonor someone whom God considers a son or daughter. Therefore, the responsibility to protect the dignity of others often outweighs the potential benefits of disclosing the truth.
Just because something is true does not mean it is right to share it. This distinction is what separates mature leaders from the rest.
1 Peter 2:17 reads, "Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor” (NIV). We must ask: even if the information is true, does it pass the test of honor? Acting on this information, would it dishonor someone or, more importantly, dishonor God?
Is it Wise?
Even if the incoming information is true and my response doesn't dishonor anyone, we must still consider the final filter: wisdom. This step involves evaluating the potential consequences of our decisions by balancing the benefits against the risks. It's possible for information to meet the criteria of truth and honor yet fall short when judged for wisdom. How valuable is wisdom? Many times in Proverbs we are told that wisdom is more valuable than silver, gold, rubies, or anything this world has to offer. Proverbs 3 says, “Nothing you can desire can compare with wisdom.”
*Truth deals with the past, honor deals with the present, but
wisdom determines what happens next.
Wisdom in this decision is one we cannot risk getting wrong. How, then, do we acquire such wisdom? The scriptures give us at least two clear ways. The first is to seek guidance from the Lord. According to James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (NIV). Additionally, wisdom can also be sought from those around us. As stated in Proverbs 11:14, "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety" (ESV).
Final Thoughts
I firmly believe that these three filters can significantly enhance the quality of decisions you make with the daily influx of information at your desk. They certainly have for me.
While Socrates is often credited with guiding us in filtering information, he isn't the originator of this wisdom. In Philippians 4:8, Paul advises, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things" (NIV).
By applying these filters, our responses are not quick or reactionary, but thoughtful and wise, enhancing our effectiveness and respect as leaders.
Share your thoughts below. Thanks for reading.
True - Honorable - Wise. Thank you Jon! This is a gem. It is so helpful when complex decision processes are reduced to memorable and managable steps.
Pastor, you recently reminded us, in your last sermon, of the power of the tongue, that it can hold death, or life. That's a powerful concept to ponder upon!!!
"It's not what I say, but how I say" is partially true.... (I might add that it depends on the relationship we have with the other person that matters as well).
Even if the person I am speaking about is not within hearing, our words can be words of life, or words considered "word curses" that go into the enemy's camp and can affect that person regardless of them hearing it.
Even slang for medical diagnosis can become word curses.
If someone approaches me and complains about another person, even if I agree with them, but instead I say, "they're hurting and need our prayers." I think that is more God-honoring than saying things like rolling my eyes and saying, "they're mentally ill" or "emotionally ill." Don't you agree?
You, Pastor, are the one that, over the last 3 years, has slowly, by your example, been teaching me the importance of choosing my words carefully.
Yes, it is definitely so much easier to "gab" the first thing that pops into my head, or based from my frustration, my own hurt, etc. But I LOVE that the Psalms talks so much about GOD is our defender, GOD will vindicate.... I try my best, although I'm not perfect at it, to always remember that!